Pic from Stuff Magazine
Stuff Magazine 5/9/03: Karen Cliche
Northern Delights
Adventure Inc.’s Karen Cliche puts the act in action and the can in Canadian. As in, she can—and will—puke after reading that sentence.)
Stuff, 5/9/2003
By Bill Schulz
Don’t be fooled by the spelling of Karen Cliche’s last name—it’s actually pronounced kleesh. (The lack of that little mark above the e should’ve tipped you off.) And, for the record, the model-actress reports that she’s “anti-cliché.” Ah, but how does this Adventure Inc. star defend her show’s press release, which is riddled with clichés such as “[She’s] as tough as she is beautiful”? “I don’t defend it at all, honey,” purrs Karen between puffs of a Marlboro Light. Works for me! Know what else works for me? Asking even dumber questions than that one. Believe you me, I have plenty of ’em. So shall we do it to it, then? I’ll take your extended middle finger as a resounding yes.
STUFF: You’ve been lucky enough to costar with two Baldwin brothers. Which one was the bigger lech?
KAREN: They all have that element to them. And I probably worked with the two—you know, Daniel and Stephen—who are kind of a little more flirty. You just take it in stride.
As a former student of psychology, what would you make of my penchant for dressing up like my Great Aunt Polly? I like to limp like she did, as well.
Yikes. Are you dressing up like Aunt Polly because you feel something’s lacking in your life? Maybe it’s a sexual thing. Or maybe you’re secretly in love with Polly? I’d like to talk to Aunt Polly and give her a warning about those Christmas dinners that you come to.
She’s dead. We ran a feature that declared Canada to be our 51st state. Do you find that offensive or flattering?
No! No, no, no, no. People always associate Canada as the 51st state. But things are so different there. And I think Canadians kind of cherish that difference.
As a fervent activist for blonde rights, I was dismayed to read that you’re a natural yellow-head. Are you a self-hating blonde, Karen?
No. I’m not blond anymore, anyway.
Well, yeah, but if one were to look at your roots, one would know—
It depends on where they look, honey! [Laughs] I keep my roots updated every month. I made the decision 14 months ago to change my hair to dark. I wanted to get more, kind of, tough roles. And it did kind of happen.
Your 2002 movie Summer was billed as a tribute to legendary filmmaker John Hughes. Now, which legendary film of his are they paying homage to, exactly? Curly Sue, Beethoven or Baby’s Day Out?
None of them. The Breakfast Club and those kind of films—with the witty humor and the camaraderie that the characters have.…Beethoven? Did he do that, for real?
He wrote the script.
Well, just scratch that.
You played a lesbian lawyer in Wrong Number. Did you do any—and you didn’t see this one coming—Method acting for the role?
Oh, look at the time, Bill. It’s late. I’ve had a hard day at work.
I’ll take that as an affirmative, captain.
I’m very open-minded. You can take that wherever you want to go. No, I take that back. You might take that to places I’m not sure I want to go.
Well, on to more mature topics, then. Like spankings. Do they make you hotty, or is it too naughty?
I make no judgments. I like to play, and I like to explore things. As long as it’s fun and you’re experimenting, why not? Do you know what I’m saying?
Wow. You’re making me reconsider my views on smacking that ass.
I don’t care what that Aunt Polly did to you as a kid—they’re really two separate things. You’ve got to separate those two, honey.
You’ve worked with Eric Roberts. He used to be a big pothead. What are your thoughts on the dankest of drugs?
I don’t know if he quit everything, but I never saw that. I never had the chance to say either “Please get that away from me” or “Pass it on.” This is all I’m going to say: People can do what they want to do, as long as it doesn’t affect anything in a bad way.
Are you as adventurous in the bedroom as you are on your show?
[Pretending to be dramatic ellipses] Dot, dot, dot—very.
And you know I’m going to need specifics, girlfriend.
Pry, pry, pry. I get bored really easily. You know, you dress up. The clichés of the secretary being seduced by her boss. That’s always a good one, no?
What isn’t a good one?
Well, a boyfriend of mine asked me to play wild-animal games, and he wanted to answer the door as a tiger. So we’re on the phone, and I go, “What do you mean? I put on my leopard thong and I kind of growl and hiss?” Like, “Ha-ha-ha.” And he’s like, “No, we’re on the African plains, and we greet and sniff each other.” That’s when I realized I couldn’t be with this person. I just couldn’t do that. I’d find it too funny, and I wouldn’t be able to take it seriously. He’s a little artsy, a little weird. Safari and sex? There’s no connection there for me.
You’d be too worried about getting Montezuma’s revenge or something?
Yes. No one likes Montezuma’s revenge.
Aunt Polly liked it. A lot.
© Stuff Magazine
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